I’ll take a walk down the road, I smell the scent of cigarettes light up, I see someone smoking a cigarette, knowing that I will have the want for one I hold back knowing that I don’t need it. I keep walking passing all the places where I’ve had memories build up with friends, some see me and some don’t, I don’t expect to be found after I disappear in thin air, I don’t expect to be found, because I’ll be long gone far from here. Those who attempt to find me won’t be able to because I will drift into think air, those whom don’t attempt to find me will never know what happened.
I take the long walk so I won’t be a worry to the minds of those who care. When my voice it kept shut once, don’t try to make me talk because the part of me that talked so much had died long ago, but the looks of the person is still alive and living whatever is left of me. I always looked forward and looked back to check if everything was going the way its suppose to be, but every night I have arguments with myself over the same things that hit me every time. One side says I’m right the other side says I’m wrong, half of me says take it all back and start fresh today, the other half says forget bout everything else, just keep doing what has to be done.
I keep arguing with myself screaming back and fourth expressionless in my head while on the outside I just start up into the ceiling at night watching the fight spark up in small films playing from my head. I stop myself from thinking, but the films just keep replaying over and over again in my head, then I start thinking again, in the end of its all the part of me that should never have made the decision has won the argument. It starts over again from beginning to end nonstop and finally finishes with the better side that should have won in the first place.