You Can’t Always Get What You want

Feeling loss of hope and trust, feeling loss of  faith and belief. Who shall I trust if I have no one to turn to. who shall i look up to if i don’t have the hope to push me forward to keep me moving and proving those to need to be proven wrong. Sometimes i wish i never met you sometimes i’m glad i met you, sometimes i wish i was never born. If people want me dead let them try to kill me i don’t care anymore, let them attempt to kill me when they have no chance to.

Let them try to make me fall when I’m already looking up high, as broken as I am where do I look to if I can’t even trust you. I’m lost and I need to be found, I know what I want but do you really know what you want? Do you know what your looking for in life or am I just talking as if I don’t need to be alive anymore. My life is slowly dying but I’m trying to work things out with you but do you try to do the same. When I ask what’s wrong you tell me nothing when I do know something is wrong, you never want to tell me anything anymore.

What am I doing wrong to make you be this way, am I just so invisible that you think I can’t see what’s really going on? I already feel like I’ve lost you, when in my mind I know I haven’t but in your mind I have already been replaced. You promised me something and now your trying to go behind my back to do what you want? Then what the hell am I standing around waiting for you for? I’m losing my mind to figure it out, what the hell am I doing to be with you. If you don’t know me now then I shouldn’t even be around if you’re going behind my back to do all this.

What’s the point of me trying to talk to you if you won’t even open up to me. If you don’t see it now you’re never going to see it. You made your promise and you’re slowly breaking it. I’m tired of drama I’m tired of having to fight for something I can’t have, I’m tired of being pushed away when I’m trying to get close to you. When I break down I know either way I’m going to have to let you go one way or another and if I can’t then have to make myself let you go. You’re happiness with me is dying but you just cover up all your sadness like I can’t even see it.

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About imaginationdragonblog

Just a self-published struggling author.
This entry was posted in Letter to Myself, relationship woes. Bookmark the permalink.

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